


Sorry About the Blood In Your Mouth

by postapocalyptic_cryptic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Communication, Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gerry is not always strong and stoic, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Michael is not always an anxious mess, Self-Hatred, when your so is a literal angel and you're a monster hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postapocalyptic_cryptic/pseuds/postapocalyptic_cryptic
Summary: It's hard to protect someone from yourself and himself and the world around him when you're too busy trying love him. Gerry thinks he's failing at all of these things.Title from the poem "Little Beast" by Richard Siken(This is the tail end of a work I plan on finishing in the near future. It's going to contain the story of how Michael got hurt and what they were doing, but for now just take this because the GerryMichael tag is always dead)
Relationships: Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 76





	Sorry About the Blood In Your Mouth

Michael falls asleep around eleven, laying almost completely on top of Gerry, head pillowed on his chest and feet sticking out over the armrest of the couch. His arms are wrapped around Gerry’s shoulders. He’s not quite snoring, but there’s a definite wheezy quality to his breathing, probably because he’s got his cheek smashed against Gerry’s hoodie. Occasionally, Gerry can feel Michael’s fingers twitch where he’s got them tangled in Gerry’s hair. 

The flickering light of the television plays over Michael’s face, highlighting his freckles and long blond lashes. Gerry’s breath catches in his throat and for a long few moments, he’s enthralled with just looking at Michael. Everything about him is beautiful. Gerry has never been good with words, that’s why he’s an artist, and the only way he can even think to describe how it feels to look at Michael is that it’s more natural than breathing. Something about the shape of him calls Gerard’s eyes to follow him like ink over paper. He feels nice to look at, right and safe in some cosmic way. 

He slides a hand just under the hem of Michael’s shirt and rubs his thumb along the curve of his hip. Michael mumbles in response, and for a moment, Gerry thinks he’s woken him. He holds his breath and waits, but Michael just curls his arms tighter around Gerry’s shoulders and relaxes again. Gerry goes back to his stroking. 

Holding him like this, Gerry can feel for the millionth time how  _ small  _ Michael is. It sounds ridiculous at first, especially knowing that Michael is half a foot taller than Gerry, but he  _ is.  _ He’s skinny and delicate, made for curling up in the corners of rooms and reading for hours on end, for talking and teaching and laughing and all the beautiful things in the world that Gerry wishes he could give him. He is not made for being chased through dark alleys by things that would rather see him dead in a ditch or unmade into some horrific nightmare creature. That’s Gerry’s job, but lately it seems like he’s not very good at it. 

“I can’t protect you,” he whispers. “I try,  _ God,  _ I try, but I just-” he chokes. “I can’t be there enough. You’re so good, and they want that, and everything tries to break that, and I’m not enough to keep you safe.” He grabs a hold of Michael’s shirt and hugs him tightly. “I’m trying. I love you so much, and you scare me  _ so fucking badly all the time.  _ And you laugh at me, because I should be the scary one, but you’ve got it wrong. Everyone’s got it wrong. You’re the scary one. You scare the shit out of me, Michael.  _ God.”  _ He’s crying now. He’s not made for this. He’s not made for late-night couch cuddles and waking up to make breakfast and trips to museums and tender words, so of course he has to ruin it with tears and talking to himself. 

“Gerry? Hey, are you okay?”  _ Great, now look what you’ve done, Gerard. You’ve woken him up.  _ Michael picks his head up and pushes his hair out of his face. “Is something wrong?”

Michael reaches up and brushes a tear off his cheek with such gentleness that more fall and take its place. Here he is, covered in bruises and scratches, with his ankle all bound up in ACE bandages because of Gerard, because Gerard could not just  _ stay away,  _ and  _ Michael  _ is comforting  _ him.  _ He covers Michael’s hand with his own.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, Mikes. Nothing to worry about.” He leans down to kiss Michael’s forehead and is rewarded with a quiet little hum. “I’m okay, I promise.”

Michael sighs and folds his hands on Gerard’s chest, resting his chin on them. “I love you, you know.” 

“Mmhmm.”

“And there is nothing in the world that could stop me from following you wherever you go.” Michael looks him dead in the eyes with a rare intensity. “It was not my choice to fall in love with you. It _ was _ my choice to act on that, and to keep pursuing a life with you. It doesn’t matter how hard or dangerous it gets, I’m with you. Okay?”

“Yeah.” What the hell did he do right to deserve this? “And, Michael, um. I love you, too. And all of that that you just said, you too. Like, to you, from me-”

Michael cuts him off with a laugh. “I know, Gerry. Goodnight. Try to get some sleep.” And then he lays back down again, just like that. Like loving Gerry is the easiest thing in the world. Like it’s as natural as breathing.

That doesn’t make it safe, though. 

Still. Maybe this is enough, for now. 

Gerry can make it be enough, just to have it for a little while longer. 

**Author's Note:**

> So like I said in the summary, more of this should be coming, but I always feel like people appreciate new GerryMichael in whatever form they can get it. Now for the real notes.
> 
> I was worried about Michael seeming OOC in this, so I'm going to explain myself. My Michael (lbr, we all have different Michaels, he has like five minutes of screen time) is very anxious and unsure of himself, but that does not make him a helpless baby. He is a mature, responsible adult who has issues, but can also put those issues aside to help his partner. Also, no one is quite as anxious when they're half asleep and their s/o is crying. 
> 
> Yeah.


End file.
